


closer than these stars

by RaisingCaiin



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen, Post-Rescue from Thangorodrim, Pre-Slash, Secret Crush, Sindarin Names as a Personal and Political Choice, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23138269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaisingCaiin/pseuds/RaisingCaiin
Summary: Findekáno watches the stars with a wonder that would suggest he has never seen them before, even if that cannot be true any longer.And Maedhros, helpless, can only watchhim.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno & Maedhros | Maitimo, Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51
Collections: Back to Middle-earth Month 2020: Endings and Beginnings





	closer than these stars

**Author's Note:**

> (for the B2MeM prompt 3/10/2020, which is a photograph of someone silhouetted against the sky looking up at the stars)

Findekáno watches the stars with a wonder that would suggest he has never seen them before, even if that cannot be true any longer. And yet, Maedhros is pressed to remind himself, his younger cousin cannot be as familiar with their arrangements and their lights as Maedhros is himself.

(For Maedhros is _very_ familiar with the stars of Beleriand and their constellations. He has had little else to gaze upon while dangling from his slowly rotting hand upon Thangorodrim for all those years upon years upon years – even after that horrid day when the Sun had first risen, alternating a new kind of torture with those that Maedhros already knew so intimately. . .

But Findekáno is only just come to Beleriand, somehow, away from the light of the lost Trees, and so to him the stars must still seem wondrous.)

Following his miraculous rescue from the pinnacle of the Iron Hells, Maedhros could not deny his beloved cousin anything – Findekáno's resolution and his courage have created between them a debt that Maedhros will never be able to fully repay. But even if this were not the case, Maedhros would not dream of preventing him from these quiet moments of awe and wonder, away from his responsibilities as the eldest son of Finwë's eldest surviving son – particularly when such moments seem to give Findekáno a kind of peace that he cannot attain anywhere else.

And besides. When Findekáno is looking to the stars like this, then Maedhros has the chance to look at _him_ , and Maedhros knows that he is not a strong man: he will take any such opportunity that he can get.

Silhouetted against the dark night sky and its constellation of lights, Findekáno's profile is strong and resolute: high nose, full lips, tight coil of dark braids twisted with gold, all cut in stark contrast with the glowing sky he faces. He looks, and he carries himself, as every inch the prince, the leader, the hero, that he is, and Maedhros is helpless to look anywhere but at him.

When Findekáno turns, Maedhros Is not expecting the sudden movement, and his cousin catches his over-intense gaze before Maedhros can turn aside. But where others cannot meet his corrupted stare and must look away (Tyelkormo; Turukáno; Makalaurë‎), or else scold him, verbally and otherwise, for daring to look at them with his deformed and orc-like pupils (Curufinwë; Ambarto), Findekáno simply meets his eyes and smiles.

"What is it, Maitimo?" he asks, his melodious voice gentle in a way that fits the starry night above them but not the deformed creature he is addressing. And Maedhros grunts at the use of his old name, the one that no longer fits his scarred face and marred body, but in the end he does not protest – there is very little that he will not permit of Findekáno.

(Indeed, he has not found anything yet. Neither his bleakest dreams nor his best moments would be withheld from Findekáno, should his beloved cousin ever think to ask them of him, and that much has been true since long before Findekáno came marching into hell singing, seeking him.)

"It is nothing," Maedhros says gruffly, making as if to turn away. But then it occurs to him that Findekáno deserves better than this – indeed, deserves better than Maedhros himself – and Maedhros resolves to make that better known to his beloved cousin.

"It was you," he amends, turning back stiffly and trying again. "I was looking at you, for you are more striking than anything that the Valar could have created or hung in the sky."

If anything, Findekáno smile grows more radiant still at this statement, despite its inherent blasphemy. And his hand, when he reaches out to take Maedhros's own, is warmer and more miraculous than the stars could ever hope to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> I headcanon that Maedhros alone of Fëanor's sons began using the Sindarin version of his name almost immediately after it was created - partly for political reasons, but mostly out of a newfound self-hatred and a need to separate his current body/self from who he had been in Tirion. Thus, the mix of Quenya and Sindarin names here, and indeed almost every fic where I write about Maedhros. 
> 
> It's always angst hours here at Casa RaisingCaiin!


End file.
